Stop It! Just Stop It!

Yeah, that's what I'm usually screaming in my head at any given moment throughout the day.  Whether its due to a migraine, a Fibromyalgia flare, the excruciating carpal tunnel in my hands or the negative speak of depression I'm telling something to quit harassing me.  As it gets colder outside and winter weather starts to creep in, my bones ache more and my muscles spasm longer and harder.  I quietly endure the pain and wish for it to stop, go away and never come back.  Every morning when I wake up, I'm greeted with a migraine that most who have never had one would be sure to make them feel as if they were dying.  To me it's mild enough to still get my kids off to school but frequent enough to wish for it to stop, go away and never come back.  Daily, I battle and try to fend off negative brain chatter, anxious thoughts, and feelings of hopelessness.  Sometimes I win them and other times I lose, but I always wish for them to stop, go away and never come back.

It would be nice to just deal with the physical illnesses alone.  That's much easier for me to cope with than the mental illnesses.  They have hurt me (and my family) more than all of my other conditions combined and cause more dysfunction in my life.  Unfortunately, I'll be dealing with them for the rest of my life and will continue to have moments in time where they will be well managed and others when they will be harder to control.  I watched this video on Upworthy about depression that was made by the World Health Organization or WHO.  It really describes what it is like living with it with great accuracy.  Please watch it and share it, especially if you live with depression and need help getting your loved ones and friends to understand what it is and how it affects you.