Songs often bring specific thoughts to mind. Watch the video below of "Dreams," and write about it.
After listening to this song, I feel a sense of comfort. It is a very soothing song and the lyrics are very relatable to how I feel at times. Instead of the subject being a person, for me it would be the vision of a life without Migraine or any chronic pain and depression. There are many, many times where I feel played by life. It seems as though whenever I make progress in reducing pain in one or more areas, a new one crops up. For instance, I have worked very hard to reduce the amount of Migraine attacks and fibromyalgia flare ups I get a month. Over the course of two years, my fibromyalgia symptoms are all but gone. I no longer have daily low-grade fevers, dizzy spells, excessive sweating or constant joint pain. Most of my flare ups occur during the winter months and when I have to sit or stand for extended periods of time.
The number of Migraines I get per month have gone down from 15-20 to about 10 per month. I no longer have daily chronic headache. I have gone off of all the daily preventatives I was taking for Migraine, fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety. At one point I was taking 15 pills a day. Now, I only take a rescue medication or OTC pain reliever when needed. I haven't had a trip to the ER or urgent care in over a year. Things have been going in the right direction and I am very happy about that. Until last month when after an hour at the gun range, I developed lower back pain. It has progressed to the point where my entire right side hurts from my lower back down to my foot. I believe it is stemming from my sciatic nerve. My leg gets very numb and it gets very difficult to sit, stand, get in and out of the bed and even get dressed. A few weeks ago, I was in so much pain and my entire right leg went numb. I couldn't put any weight on it and my husband had to help me walk. Every step made me literally cry out in pain. All I could do was weep the pain was so bad. The next morning I went to see my PCP and she gave me a Toradol shot and Norco (hydrocodone) for the pain.
After my daughter's sweet sixteen last Saturday and having a house full of guests this week, the pain is back and is getting worse. This morning, I had to hold onto my bedside table to help me roll out of bed because I couldn't sit straight up. At that point, I emailed my doctor about it. She would like to get an x-ray of my lower back and a CT of my lumbar spine as well as start me on a short course steroid. I am not sure about taking a steroid as I don't like taking any medication. After being off of them for so long, I seem to be much less tolerant of them and the side effects bother me more. Besides, steroids make you hungry and I am trying to lose weight. There always seems to be that proverbial wrench thrown into the mix to mess everything up. I just want to live my life without these pain issues cropping up here and there. The last thing I want or need is chronic back pain. It's so frustrating when another medical issue arises. That seems to be the case though in the life of a chronic pain individual. Nothing good lasts forever. Now, I must wait and see what will come of the x-ray and CT scan. I pray that it is nothing too serious or damaging. My dreams may be put on hold a little longer depending on the outcome.
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